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2 articles Tag opinion post

Motherhood : The Word DOES Have a Meaning

by on May 10, 2012, 0 comments

TIME Magazine and Dr. Sears ask: Are You Mom Enough?

Of course this question has sparked blog post after blog post. I am not offended by the photo, the article or anything other than the fact that women are criticizing one another and competing to be the “best mom”. What does that even mean?

 

“Motherhood”

Suffix

-hood

  1. A condition or state of being the thing or being in the role denoted by the word it is suffixed to, usually a noun.
    child – childhood
  2. A group sharing a specified condition or state.
    brother – brotherhood
    neighbor – neighborhood

Did you read that?! A group. GROUP! 

Why bash one another?

I cloth-diapered my son for the first 6 months, breastfed for 2 years and still co-sleep. What parenting philosophy fits me? Honestly, I don’t care. I don’t call myself an “Attachment Parent” or a “Free-Range Parent” or any other title to validate the choices I make.

CafeMom is a website I rarely visit anymore, but when I was a brand new mom, I spent a lot of time in the forums sharing stories and making new “mommy friends”. I was a member of breastfeeding moms groups and cloth diapering groups and most of the other moms in those groups were very nice. During this period of time I noticed that there was a serious “competition” among moms to be “better” than each other and I was flabberghasted.

What’s going on women?! 

Breastfeeding is a choice. Cloth diapering is a choice. One choice may or may not be “better” than the next.

We should never make someone feel badly or criticize the way they choose to raise their children as long as it doesn’t physically harm them! There are SO many reasons why people do the things they do, and it’s no ones business but theirs. What about women who’s breast milk doesn’t provide enough for their baby? Are they inadequate mothers? Absolutely not!

I will never question whether I’m “Mom” enough or ANYTHING-enough because as long as I’m enough for myself and my family I am happy. (and you should be too!)

With all that said….

xoxo,

Putting square pegs in round holes.

by on November 28, 2011, 4 comments

I’ve wanted to write about this for a while actually, but I just never knew where or how to begin, so here goes nothing:

Back in February during Black History Month, my son, after seeing a few mentions and stories on Nick Jr. about the month-long celebration he says to me. “Hey Mom, I’m  black.” [In his voice I could hear a mixture of interest and confusion.]

This statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like he’d just asked where babies come from, or something else that I’d be totally unprepared to handle.

“Weeeeelllll…..sort of.” I said and I asked him what black looked like.

He pointed to the TV remote.

I shook my head yes.

Then I asked him, “what color is MY skin?”

“Brown”, he replied.

I smiled.

I then told him, “Sometimes people with dark skin are referred to as “black”, but YOU my dear…are Benjamin. People with daddy and grandma’s skin color are called “white” sometimes but they aren’t really white are they?”

“No.” He said and laughed his little butt off. He thought that was hilarious.

….situation handled.

*mom points!*

Although his words were innocent, it pinged a nerve in me because BLACK, WHITE, ASIAN, LATINO…all of these terms are so incredibly generic they leave NO room for the true diversity that exists among all people.

Who we are has so much to do with our culture, family and society and nothing to do with our physical appearance, and I refuse to allow my child to feel pigeonholed or obligated to dress, act or be a certain way because he happens to have a year-round tan.

I can’t tell you how many times growing up I got strange looks or comments from people (even some family) just because I liked rock music or had a crush on Hanson. (Seriously…who didn’t have a crush on Hanson?!)

My mom is Iranian and my dad is African American, but I was adopted from Brazil so when someone asks “What ARE you?” I just say “Human.”

There just aren’t enough options on some standard list to fit us all, and until then I guess we’ll just be trying to stick square pegs in round holes.

 

….it’s hip to be square….right?

 

xoxo,